Sunday, November 11, 2007

Dancing with the Star(Fish)

My friend Dave, for some reason, posited that the indian girl who had her extra limbs removed somehow missed out on two fantastic opportunities.   The first, that she would be honored as the goddess Durga.   The second opportunity - I guess - was that she could appear on a television show titled "Dancing with the Starfish".   Why this would work, I honestly don't know, because starfish have five uh, appendages and if you count the top one as a "head" then, they have two arms and legs just like humans.

However, not being one to question Dave's manic strokes of genius, I whipped up this entirely rude, non-pc illustration.

Make of it what you will.


The_Scum said...

If that failed she could be a porn star.

"Hand job heaven gangbang orgy"

D said...

Porn Star was too easy, too obvious -- think of the other things she might have done, heights she might have scaled - Outfielder for the Cubs, SpiderMan arch-villain, or ticket-taker at the opera house.
Sure, the fact that she had too cooters might raise a prurient eyebrow - but let's get out of the gutter and up onto the curb and consider the bigger picture.


Lavi D. said...


That's probably one of the best comments I've ever read on a blog. I'm honored.

The_Scum said...

She has two cooters too?

Sorry Lavi, thread goes back into the gutter.

The_Scum said...


Supplied with steel toed fuzzy bunny slippers she would have made a hell of an ass kicker!

Ad spokeswoman for Dr. Scholls or Isotoner gloves!

Fast food restaurant worker - she could be the entire shift!

Better dm?

Anonymous said...

Oh heck yes - a 4 armed juggler would be amazing. (and why stop with arms? maybe we could work in some quad hacky sack)

And alas, bunny slipper ass kicking enforcer is also a fine profession, now closed to Little Lakshmi.

But the Dr Scholls / Isotoner demon demo diva was probably the best.


Lavi D. said...

If I had to score this round, I'd call it a tie.

Both of you are nefariously funny. I especially like how the humor and misanthropy go hand in hand in hand in hand.

vinnymoe said...

Scum,dm,keep the faith. This youngster may well overcome the short sighted mutilation perpetrated upon her. If she has anything in common with deviant Dave's star fish her limbs may well spontaneously regenerate.

Not shure about the coochie.


Lavi D. said...

VM shoots, scores!

The insights continue to pile up. This is phenomenal.

If there were some way to package up all the erudition on this page and burn it as an offering to whatever god it is that reattaches misguidedly severed limbs, our poor Lakshmi could once again look forward to a more promising future.

"Oh Ziggy, will you ever win?"


vinnymoe said...

If I could save libms in a bottle,
If words could make mythos come true,
I'd save arms and legs for eternity 'till all us dolts re-attach them to you.

vinnymoe said...

Oh what the hell,
But there never seems to be enough time to ice the parts you need to once you find them,
I've google earthed enough to know we'll prob'ly find your knees and toe in the Ganges.

Lavi D. said...

"If I could save limbs in a bottle"

Oh man, that made me smile.   That could well be a dream young Jeffrey Dahmer had - only he substituted the freezer compartment of his fridge for the bottle.

The hits keep coming.

The_Scum said...

Maybe just buy her some nice giant breasts when she gets older and she'll forget about those extra arms and legs that were stolen from her.

How does the two coochie thing work? I mean are they side by side or inline?

Lavi D. said...

How does the two coochie thing work? I mean are they side by side or inline?

Regrettably, the extra was removed before the National Enquirer photog could get a shot.

Actually, that's probably fortunate; otherwise, he'd have to register as a sex-offender for making kiddie-porn.

The_Scum said...

How in the hell do you remove a vagina?

Does this involve spackle and a putty knife or a wickedly long needle with heavy duty thread?

If you actually know the answer to this...DO NOT SHARE IT!

Lavi D. said...

Well, like I said, it was removed without photos.

We won't know until the Fox network documentary on the 10th anniversary of the operation.

Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.

-Hunter S. Thompson

Dedicated to the other side of Las Vegas, namely; the sprawling, mad, incoherent underpinnings of the world's favorite destination.

That, and the occasional ranting about nothing in particular.