Monday, February 11, 2008

Let the Bodice Ripping Begin

24 comments:

The_Scum said...

You know...with the white hat and outfit crammed up the fishnet legs Lavi COULD be a tampon.

First

Lavi D. said...

My man Scum.

Back on the firstcycle.

Lavi D. said...

Congrats

Rock Candy said...

It just makes me want to take out a tube of red hot FM lipstick and paint your hat for you!

although I was really expecting you to paint Fabio type dreads onto your post.....

Lavi D. said...

From the back-cover blurb:

Candi L. Hart has to choose between a romance with Lavi D., known anti-oilslamic activist, and her career as a top-tier petro-litigator.

Caught between the high-pressure world of geo-oilatics and torrid beach-cruiser passion, Candi must decide which path to follow.

Lavi, who can't help but notice that the pattern on the handgrips of his bicycle mimic the triangular shapes of Candi's fishnet stockings, must decide whether making the world safe for bicycling is more important than getting to wear a stocking on his head.

The stakes are high, the drama is intense and the bicycles are fucking cool in this tense tale of torrid passion and unreleased tension seeking torrid release.

Lavi D. said...

...red hot FM lipstick...

...Fabio type dreads onto your post...


These things I don't understand.

OH wait, there's an internet for that.   Hold on...

FM lipstick

Fabio

 

Rock Candy said...

Beneath his tawny, weathered skin and ravinelike crow's feet, Fabio's still big and strong and far more handsome in person than dragon-slaying, bodice-ripping jokesters might imagine.

well now I know where you got the bodice ripping fantasy from....

FM= F*CK ME..not a radio FM Red is a popular color in stilletos and lipstick.

Rock Candy said...

whoops maybe I should have said CFM? then you might have got it?

Lavi D. said...

whoops maybe I should have said CFM? then you might have got it?

No, actually I'm kind of dense like that.

I would have immediately thought of Cold Fusion, a programming language.

Now FM pumps, for some reason, I would have figured out on my own.

Black Heart Candle said...

I felt the need to do a little studying when I got home last evening. I was bored with the television program, and I wanted to take a break from the news. So, after tending to my plants, I sat down at the computer, and browsed the web for any interesting topic.

I have been overwhelmed with the insecurity of the new burning relationship Lavi.
I wonder if he can handle wearing fishnets? Will he think it takes away from his masculinely? Then I think, oh hell no- he wears a nightshirt and some wacky hat out in public!

Then I worry about the bike, what will happen with my burqa?
I wonder as well, damn did I gain weight where I would leave fishnet imprints on the handle-grips? Will he love me if I gain weight or is he just looking for eye-candy that is a false fulfillment to a sexual hunger to replace a lost one?

Trash the lipstick it will not been seen as my face is shieled.
I wonder how Lavi will look in the heels? Will he come to love the paddles and life beyond it?


What about my career? Can we become one power team?

At least the burqa will hide any body or facial flaw.. what a relief.

Rock Candy said...

is it wrong that I am now picturing poor Lavi on a stage, during the prom...and having pigs blood poured over his head?

I give credit to scum for this depraved thought ...that and add in Islamic pig fears....

I need therapy!

plus I despise romance novels and much prefer mysteries and murder...bwahahhaha

Rock Candy said...

and dang it!! the lipstick was for Lavi....curses!! now I have to buy more.

The_Scum said...

It appears Lavi has attracted Haterz.

Every great blogger needs Haterz™. The Haterz™are a positive sign of a bloggers rocket trip starting off on the path of fortune and glory.

For those wondering what the hell I am rambling about:

I got a goggle warning this blog had been reported to contain objectionable material when I logged in today.

Lavi's popularity base has expanded to include Haterz ™.

Lavi D. said...

It appears Lavi has attracted Haterz.

(When I first scanned your post, I thought it read "Hertz".)

I did that to myself.   There's a button you can select in Blogger's setup that allows you to mark your blog as "adult". I didn't see the text until after I made the switch.

No one has reported me - I think their (Blogger) wording is unfortunate.   I'd like to warn people (and kids) that there might be objectionable crap here, but I really don't care for the way it's described by them.

I guess I'll turn it off.   I had thought that you'd only see the warning once unless your browser happened to toss its cookies.   But now it appears as though the cookie will expire when you close your browser.   Hmm.

Maybe I'll just put some weasel words in the blog title image...

Lavi D. said...

and dang it!! the lipstick was for Lavi....curses!! now I have to buy more.

Lady, you need help.

Lavi D. said...

Then I worry about the bike, what will happen with my burqa?

This burqa thing.   Isn't there like a maintenance port or something?   An access panel?

I know it's supposed to dampen lust in men by denying them the sight of woman-flesh.

But I'm wondering, maybe Islamic women are just butt-ugly and this is the religious equivalent of the paper bag.

Rock Candy said...

ummm Lavi....Scum said you looked like a tampon...and I agreed. So I was just going to use the lipstick to 'enhance' your photo.

and yes, I know I need help...but then who would help whoever helps me? Cuz'Lord knows they will need it when they are done with me!

Lavi D. said...

...I was just going to use the lipstick to 'enhance' your photo.

Truly, you are too kind.

And you (and the Scum) make me laugh.

If I have to entertain with a blog in order to meet people in this godforsaken town, then a blog I will have.

"Give me blog or give me death!"

"I regret that I have only one blog to give to the whites of their eyes"

"One if by blog, two if by Vonage!"

"There's two kinds of people in this world my friend.   Those with blogs, and those who dig....   you, blog."

Rock Candy said...

awww shucks.

and to your post I will add:

a blog by any other name is not as sweet

when you're down and feeling blue, blog one another...

Black Heart Candle said...

Man leave for a couple days and the story stops- did I like get a runner in my nets?

Lavi D. said...

Man leave for a couple days and the story stops- did I like get a runner in my nets?

Oh no, you're still the bedsheet of my eye.  

But damn, it's hard enough for me to keep posting regularly to this futile waste of webspace and still have time for the drinking I need to do.

Black Heart Candle said...

Man leave for a couple days and the story stops- did I like get a runner in my nets?

Oh no, you're still the bedsheet of my eye.


Well, I guess that beats being a cum-drop on the shower floor.

Lavi D. said...

Well, I guess that beats being a cum-drop on the shower floor.

Cmon, burq up.   No reason to feel like shiite.

Allah you gotta do is rimadi yourself that with hope, nothing's islamible.

Black Heart Candle said...

Please continue on...


Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.

-Hunter S. Thompson


Dedicated to the other side of Las Vegas, namely; the sprawling, mad, incoherent underpinnings of the world's favorite destination.

That, and the occasional ranting about nothing in particular.