President Mashup

I gotta tell ya, the reason I'm gonna vote for Hillary Hussein McCain is because it's a mashup.

And, as everyone knows, mashups are the groove. They really are, so we need a mashup for president.

As president, President Mashup will:

• Eat tofu out of black-market elephant tusks

• Preside over the gay marriage of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid
  

• Force the next Supreme Court nominee to perform an abortion
  

• Promise to subsidize the production of ethanol from American flags
  

• Give the children of unwed mothers to illegal immigrants
  

• Move on to Gitmo in a swift-boat
  

• Encourage christian gang warfare
  

• Order the immediate nuclear anhiliation of any country which accuses the U.S. of being violent.
  

• Outsource the Amber Alert system to Catholic priests
  

• Fund research for turning Republicans directly into greenhouse gases.
  

• Fund research into making crude oil from homeless people
  

• Take out a sub-prime loan on the White House to fund universal health care
  

• Copyright the Constitution and then sue anyone who enjoys freedom without permission
  

• Legalize drugs and use the tax proceeds to build prisons for people who insist on watching American Idol sober.
  

• Use polar bears as draft animals in replanting the Amazon rain forests.
  

• Add a suicide-bomb squad to the Peace Corps
  

• Give a federal grant to Jesus to promote the Temple Money-Changers Association