Monday, February 4, 2008

Mannah From the Mailbox

Whew!   Just when the wolves were closing in.   You're a blogger and one of your three or four regular readers has called you out on your inability to post consistently for more than a week at a time - which is a fair accusation; consistency is the hallmark of blogging (as well as the hallmark of a good bowel movement, but I digest digress) - and then the Post Office rides to your rescue with an incredible gem of unfortunate front-page layout.   Ahh, public services.



I haven't even opened this rag.   I pulled it out of the box, saw the cover and knew I had to snap a shot.   If there's anything even remotely as ridiculous inside, you can bet your browser it's going to show up here in the next day or two.   Anything to save me from actually having to work for laughs.

26 comments:

The_Scum said...

Why would I care about my mother's hysterectomy and colon screening?

Look at the back...St Rose Dominican Hospital.

Why are Dominican Hospitals trolling for business in Vegas? Don't Dominican mothers have enough money for colon screening?

I'm sure there's an anal sex joke somewhere *free female colon screens by Scummy with my proprietary special tool screening system*

FIRST!

The_Scum said...

Is the black kid saying "I'd hit it!"?

Lavi D. said...

Look at the back...St Rose Dominican Hospital.

Man, you got one too? That's going to take a lot of fun out of posting the other stuff I found inside...

feh. Just when I thought I was gonna skate for the week.

The_Scum said...

Mine is already in the garbage (just got it today). I checked out where it came from when I got it. It was retrieved from the garbage briefly to scn the "breast augmentation without scars" article and confirm the hospital name.

I've gotten them before as well.

A divorced guy with two cats notices when he gets blatant chick magazines.

I enjoyed your post and hopefully added some snark.

Past topic: Does the kids reseller place have multiple locations or just the one off Sahara and Torrey Pines by Big Dogs? That was one of you most excellent posts by the way.

Off Topic from the Hermit: I went to Sammy Hagar Saturday night at the Palms. It was a pretty decent show. Joe Satriani joined Mikael Anthony, the SMith drummer from Red Hot Chili Peppers and Sammy for the last three songs. Satriani shredded. I mean he really rocked the place out. I was up where they have CHAIRS since I'm too old and crotchety for that general admission floor shit. It was all old farts and very little single looking pussy action (since Lavi usually likes a pussy update). The rest of the Palms was full of large fake breasts as usual.

The Pearl was a decent concert venue. I hadn't ever been there. Of course a beer was the Vegas Show/Concert/Festival/Whatever typical $7.

The_Scum said...

Last Hermit review update also off topic:

I've seen KA, O and Mystere.

KA was the best as it had the Giant Hamster Wheel of Death and the Flying Giant Jungle Gym.

O would be great if you are an Ethel Merman fan. Mystere was the least good.

Black Heart Candle said...

Health and prevention is a good thing.
Nothing wrong with a woman improving her looks by helping out what was given to her.
We all need a little improvement in some departments. Some breast need a boost up and out, some get hippy; lipo works wonders. Heck men even have penis issues.

I was a visitor in your pretty
town over the weekend. The Mirage is a wonderful place to stay.
Went to The Beatles - LOVE, Cirque du Soleil and Danny Gans. Excellent shows.
Mirgae does a great Superbowl Party!

Anonymous said...

We all need a little improvement in some departments.

Some breast need a boost up and out, yup it's called Victoria's Secret, plastic is for Tupperware parties.

some get hippy; lipo works wonders. Lipo is the single most deadly plastic surgery...how about getting off yur ass and excercising if you don't like what you see?

Heck men even have penis issues. date an asian?

Rock Candy said...

Demystifing Colon Screening--Convention to be held in Roswell.....tin foil hats optional

Black Heart Candle said...

Heck men even have penis issues. date an asian?

Do Asian men have larger penis's?
All men can penal issues- Erectile Dysfunction. Curvatures (like a bent owies). Many causes.
Tell me more about the Asian penis.

Lavi D. said...

Tell me more about the Asian penis.

Okay. Pull your covers up and get comfy.

There. When the Asian Penis was a boy...

...are you asleep?


G'night

Black Heart Candle said...

...are you asleep?
Sounds like a previous relationship I had
but, he was Caucasian.
He thought he was a great lover.
Could have fooled me.
It lacked orgasm for me. He taught me what self-love and self-gratification was. With the use of toys.

Anonymous said...

Figgers a woman would go and twist my meaning.

Just for yur clarification.

Heck men even have penis issues. date an asian GASH

if a guy has penis issues that involve plastic surgery how about just shooting for smaller pussy to make him feel bigger?

Lavi D. said...

...shooting for smaller pussy...

I am on record as being against the shooting of pussy.

I am Lavi D and I approve of this message.

The_Scum said...

"I am on record as being against the shooting of pussy."

At some point you may feel thst specific exceptions could be made.

For the betterment of Mankind and the collective gene pool.

I am The_Scum and I don't give a shit if you agree with this message.

vinnymoe said...

I too am against gunning down innocent pussy. Skeet,skeet,skeet on or about the face & breasteses' is a matter for the moment at hand.
Asian or not.

I, being of sound mind and penis;
approved this message,there for it is gods honest truth.

Vinniest Moeth

Black Heart Candle said...

OMG- this is hilarious!! So much that I've about pee'd myself.
Golden showers gentlemen??

I do believe I approve this as well.
Asian penis or lack of.

Rock Candy said...

ok so let me get this straight here (pun intended)

Lavi is against shooting pussy.

Scum lists a couple of good reasons why you SHOULD shoot pussy, but missed the most important one...the BIG "O" factor it can bring to your lady.....purrrr

And Vinny is all about the skin care aspects.

and Blackie has a bladder control problem.

Lavi D. said...

Lavi is against shooting pussy.

Scum lists a couple of good reasons why you SHOULD shoot pussy, but missed the most important one...the BIG "O" factor it can bring to your lady.....purrrr

And Vinny is all about the skin care aspects.

and Blackie has a bladder control problem.


This is why we can never have people over.

Rock Candy said...

awwww just when I was menu planning too!

You and scum would be fine.

We get either an adult diaper or a cat box for Blackie

Vinnie? Not sure what to do about his ambitions to be a human sprinkler.....not in front of company anyways.

vinnymoe said...

"This is why we can't have people over."
Damn Lavi thats good! may I add
"that's why I can naver have nice things in this house."

Without of course handi-wipes/spot shot/6 Mil. plastic stapled to the walls....never mind.

Gotta go, catchin a train to the Junction tomorrow early. Gonna miss Hooterville but stoppin off in Lamecaster. WHOOOO..WHOOOO

Black Heart Candle said...

Scum lists a couple of good reasons why you SHOULD shoot pussy, but missed the most important one...the BIG "O" factor it can bring to your lady.....purrrr

They do offer surgery to make the "O" smaller. How can a woman enjoy if it's too big, how can a man feel the sensation of a woman's vagina hugging his penis during orgasm. Suggest someone practice Keigle exercises.

and Blackie has a bladder control problem. Not that I am aware of. Golden showers are just peachy for some people, just give me my latex burqa and I'd be set in case of an accident!

Darn. I may have missed vinnymoe's train. Was in the big city at trial. (damn work has to interup life)

Rock Candy said...

Oh please tell me that Blackie understands that the BIG "O" is orgasm not a vaginal opening!!

hmmm maybe that confusion will explain the lack of orgasm in that past relationship?

As far as cooch size goes, most surgeons will not do a reconstructive sugery just for tight toys for boys. It has to be medically needed. They repair hernias and tears often caused by rape or birthing babies that are way too big. Not from a lack of kegels or too much sex...(is there such a thing as too much sex?)

I know because thanks to my brilliant surgerical team I am sporting a brand new bionic pussy and had all the reproductive parts removed. Which means I can have sex any day of the month and no PMS psycho chick issues to worry about.

Lavi D. said...

...brand new bionic pussy...

Can you tell me where you get one of those? (Purely for educational purposes)

"The problem with sex is you have to deal with a woman to get it"

-lavi d

Rock Candy said...

Tucson.

See, they have more than just great Chile roastings!

The only side effect I 'suffer'from is a lack of sleep......hehehehe

but alas that is the sacrifice one must pay for great sex *sigh*

You know Lavi there are a few of us left out there that are tolerable and randi.

The_Scum said...

"The problem with sex is you have to deal with a woman to get it"

-lavi d

February 8, 2008 10:10 AM


Not necessarily true. Butt let's not go there!

Otherwise an almost profound statement!

vinnymoe said...

"Profond"?
This can be the first phrase in the first chapter of the book of universal truths for the Lavidicans!

~ Laviticus.~


Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.

-Hunter S. Thompson


Dedicated to the other side of Las Vegas, namely; the sprawling, mad, incoherent underpinnings of the world's favorite destination.

That, and the occasional ranting about nothing in particular.