Direction of the Drip

Ring

"Hello.   Falling Water Apartment Homes, how may I help you?"

"I'd like to know, is the water falling from the ceiling?"

"Excuse me?"

"If the water's falling from the ceiling, I'd want an upstairs apartment."

"Uh..."

"Seriously.   I don't mind my water falling on someone else, but I'll be damned if I'll sit around and let other people's water fall on me.   You know what I mean?"

"Sir.   Sir, that's not what it means.   We have water fountains!

"Oh great, you're into that?   Never mind, I'll try Hanging Gardens instead, I'm feeling suicidal anyway."

Click

Blow Hole

Nothing says "Loser" like a large exhaust pipe on a shitty car.   Well, except maybe a large exhaust pipe on a shitty four-cylinder car.

It is tempting to equate the oversize pipe with an inadequacy that the owner might be feeling with his personal "plumbing".

Someone needs to tell these stooges that loud noises don't make the car go faster.   If you want to be fast, get something with 8 cylinders and two - count 'em - two, regular-sized exhaust pipes.

Kids.